Monday, January 24, 2011

A Day in My Head

So I've made an appointment to see a doctor about my anxiety. I didn't want to but after last night I can't take it anymore. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon, and hubby is coming with me. I really hope it goes well and I can find some ways to relieve some of this stress and anxiety. 

I feel like my brain is just a completely different part of me sometimes. And it just won't shut off! This has been my last 24 hours..according to my 

6pm- Omg I am so exhausted ...hope I make it long enough to get Noah to bed and then I am going to bed asap!

9pm- going to bed ...maybe I can actually get some good rest if I go now and maybe I won't be exhausted all day tomorrow for once (went to bed without a sleeping pill btw)

2am- Ugh hubby turn off your alarm! Ugh too late I'm already awake. Oh well its ok..I can go back to sleep...I have 4.5 more hrs to sleep if I go back to sleep now. I'll be ok.

3am- Ugh why does this always happen to me! Ok I just need to relax....I'm fine..I'll still get enough sleep to be fine tomorrow. Just relax Michelle. Just relax.

4am- Omg this is so ridiculous! Why does this keep happening?! Ugh I hear my heart beating again...ugh now I can't breathe good. Dang Michelle just chill out! Stop freaking out!!!

5am- In tears! Ugh why does this always happen to me?! Screw it! I'm skipping class tomorrow and sleeping in! There's no way I can function like this. I have to get up in an hr and I've been up since two!! I'm crazy...losing my mind! I have to go to the dr tomorrow. I can't do this anymore!! What is wrong with me?!

5:30am- Finally back asleep!

6:30am- alarm goes  off. Ugh how am I going to do this. I'll just take Noah to the sitter, skip my first class and sleep. And drink lots of dew today to make it!!

8:30am- ugh I dont' have enough time to sleep now..oh well..guess I'll feel like crap all day. Ugh. ..have to make an appointment today

I went through school...exhausted..didn't drink as much dew as I planned..hoping to sleep tonight. I'm soooo exhausted!!! Hopefully I can get some answers tomorrow! Now ya'll can see how crazy I really am haha!!


  1. As a counselor, I'm glad to hear that you are seeking some help and insight on how to better cope with your stress and anxiety. I hope things start to get better soon! Anxiety can really hinder a happy, productive life!

  2. I agree with Amy!! Stress can be so draining! I'm glad you're going to talk to someone!! :-)))))

  3. I hope you'll find help and much relief! I need to make a doctors appointment for different reasons of anxiety but i just haven't had the money or time yet. Whenever i'm in the vehicle with my husband which is often, i freak out, gasp and grab at the door when he does things i don't neccessarily think is good driving. He's a great driver just i have a lot of anxiety when he drives! lol And i feel i yell too much at my kids but i haven't found anything else that makes them listen, i'd really like to though. But i'm not good at taking medicine so not sure if that is the answer, cause that is usually what they do is put you on depression or anxiety medecine.

  4. Ugh, I have been there to an extent. I hope that your appointment goes well and that you can get a little help or relief. It's hard to be the wife and mother you want to be when you're anxious and/or exhausted. My new years resolution is to take better care of myself so that I can be the wife and mother that I want to be. Asking for help isn't always easy but sometimes it's necessary! Keep us posted!

  5. I have panic disorder that I have finally learned to manage without meds. I don't think your crazy at all and I truly hope you get the answers you need.

  6. Its good to get checked out when things don't feel right. As moms we sometimes put our needs last.

    I pray that its nothing too serious. There are so many alternatives to hardcore meds so
    after you hear from the doctor then pray before you make any decisions.

  7. I've had a few nights like that, thankfully they are few and far between. Sorry you are having anxiety problems, that is no fun. I hope you get the help you need.
    My dad had a similar problem with sleep, his doc suggested taking mellatonin (a natural herbal variety found at Whole Foods) and he said it has made an enormous difference. He sleeps about 7-8 hours a night now, instead of 2-5. Just a thought. Its hard to keep a hold on anxiety and fear if you are exhausted all the time. I hope you find some relief soon!!

  8. Oh no! I hope you get some sleep soon! It sounds weird, but I almost always have to drink milk before bed if I'm stressed. For some reason, it actually helps me calm down a bit :)

  9. New to your blog ;)

    I agree. See the doctor. I went through a similar situation. I could not turn my thought off at night. It was AWFUL. After a couple years (which my doctor explained to me) I had trained my body to wake up at these random times throughout the night. I went on meds for 4 weeks to straighten my sleep patterns out. Now, a year later I am finally sleeping normal (well what can be called normal with a toddler) and feeling like Im back to my old self.

    Good luck.


Show me some love by leaving a comment! <3