Thursday, January 13, 2011

Mommy Struggles

So I've mentioned to ya'll before how much I have the baby fever! I think we've finally come to an agreement to start trying/not preventing next us a November due date if it happens right away. So not long at all till we begin to try! But for some reason I am still having such a hard time being truly happy for my other pregnant friends.

I'm jealous!!

I'll admit it! I know I am! I know its wrong! But I am! I want to be truly happy for them, but I also REALLY want to be pregnant right along with them! I'm also having the issue with gender. Meaning, a lot of my friend are finding out they are having the opposite of their first child (ex: boy first, girl next). I would LOVE to have a girl next. I want to have a girl next. But for some reason I just don't think that's going to happen. No idea why.  But I fear so much that I'm going to get pregnant, find out its a boy, and be dissapointed. And I don't want that! I want to be happy regardless! And I may be, but I don't know!

Ugh with Noah we weren't trying but we weren't preventing either. It happened and we just moved forward from there. With planning a baby there are so many what if's and questions that have to be asked and figured out! It's stressful?!

When you were planning for a baby or if you are, was it this stressful for you? What fears, if any, did you have? Do/Did you have the fears and thoughts I am having? Or am I just crazy?! Haha!!


  1. It was stressful for us--Since I got pregnant right away with #1, I couldn't figure out why we didn't with #2...granted, it only took us 2 months to get pregnant, but I'm still impatient!

    With #2, we wanted a boy, but decided not to find out the gender! We had a girl--I got used to that! LOL

  2. I so have baby fever but I had so many problems with my 1st, I wouldn't dare try again. I just wanna hold a little baby again.

  3. When we decided not to prevent, it was stressful because we didn't WANT another child right away, but I was having issues with birth control. Then we decided we DID want another child and began to actually try. Now we've made plans for the upcoming year and are now unsure what we really want. Will we accomplish our plans if baby #2 happens this year? Or will our carefully constructed plan fall apart?

    I want another girl. Badly. We have SO MUCH STUFF for a girl and I want to use it or at least be able to pass it on to a family member. Most recent birth in the family was a boy tho.

    Also, I HATED pregnancy and the first month of life with my daughter, which adds a negativity to the whole experience...

  4. All of my kids were planned, and I really thought our first would be a girl, I even had dreams of him being born and us calling him Ava (which we had picked)
    well, baby number one was a boy, and I was disappointed...but guess what? you get over it, real quick.
    and one thing I've matter how much you plan really doesn't matter, curveballs are thrown when you least expect it...look at Brooke, baby number 4, we thought we had it all figured out, well-one open heart surgery later and Down Syndrome we were so very wrong...
    No stress'll work the way it's supposed to...

  5. You are NOT alone. My daughter was a "surprise" 5 yrs ago, and I had horrible PPD. So, neither my husband and I were wanting any kids for a while. Then when she was about 2 1/2 I started getting a feeling that I needed to have another child, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt it would be a boy. And I was ready, but my husband, well, not so much. So for months we had a disagreement, until he finally got on board. During that time MANY of my friends were getting pregnant and it was SO very difficult to be happy for them. None of them knew I wanted another kid, and I didn't want to talk about it. Then I had all these irrational fears before getting pregnant, just crazy stuff. But once I got pregnant, I was actually really calm about the whole thing, even when we were at the Dr's office and no one could find a heart beat (my son even then wouldn't stop moving).
    On a lighter note, if you have a boy you can just dress him like a girl. J/K, but hopefully it made you laugh.

  6. Omg that's so crazy. I just got a smack in the face a minute ago cause I'm like "why am I so tired all of a sudden? ....... Uh oh." Not to mention I had a dream about a baby boy last night. Eeeek! So I'll let you know how that works out.... I've heard there's something in the water. So good luck :)

  7. We are in the Exact same boat! We have decided to stop ' preventing'- and if it hasnt' happend in a few months we will Really start trying. Crazy if we get pregnant at the same time!! Goodluck!

  8. We just found out unexpectedly we are expecting #3, but we had planned to start TTC somewhere around next summer, because I didn't want more than 3 years between my kids. I'm not able to take oral contraceptives, and I think that was a big part of how fertile I was.

    The twins weren't "planned" to the strictest sense of the word, but we weren't preventing and seeing where that would lead us.

    I too had baby fever really badly once my boys hit that toddler stage. My boys being 29 weekers and me not having the whole pregnancy experience definitely contributed to my baby fever. For quite some time I had settled down and said ok, I need to wait, I'm already busy and tired withe the two I have. And now, a few months later, I am pregnant.

    It's scarier than it was with my first, knowing the "what ifs" could be total realities (multiples again, premature birth) and it's not easy just sitting back and "relaxing".

    Baby fever truly sucks- and it is hard to feel happy for those pregnant around you. But when you are ready- you'll feel it. And hopefully it will be 100% planned! I hope it eases up on you soon and you can be happy for yourself and your friends.

  9. I wanted a girl and had 2 boy's. It's ok. I'm just glad they are healthy.

    Just over Christmas I found out my sister is pregnant with a Trisomy 18 baby. She's not due until June. It will be hard. There is only a 10% chance the baby will make it past his 1st birthday. If he does he'll have a lot of problems.

  10. You are 100% normal! Baby fever makes women crazy, completely. You won't relax until you are about 4 months pregnant. Even then you'll have new worries. :) Hang in there!

  11. When we tried for our first, it happened so fast, just a month later, but it ended in a miscarriage. 5 years, and $5000 later, we finally had our daughter. Once we finally figured out the problem, I was able to relax. Now here I am 3 years later, and we have decided it is time to try for another baby. We've been saving money for a bit, and we're hoping to start trying this summer. I am fairly relaxed about it most of the time. :) There is a small part of me that wonders what if the problem is worse? What if the same treatment doesn't work this time? Then I remember that it really is okay. I have a daughter I didn't think I would have. I have 2 babies waiting for me in heaven. If I can have more children I will be thrilled, but if I can't, well I think I'm okay with that too.
    Try not to worry, that can actually mess up your cycle. If you put too much stress on the whole thing, it takes the fun out of trying, particularly for your hubby. Relax, enjoy the process, and don't worry, boy or girl, you'll just be thrilled that they are safe and in your arms.

  12. Well, I don't want anymore children. i'm done. But I do hope it all works out the way you want it!

  13. I have baby fever too. Which is nuts considering I am a full time Nursing student and have a 1 year old and 3 year old. NUTS! But they are just so cute :) Good luck trying! I hope it happens for you soon. (Keep us updated!!)
    Wanted to say thank you for your comment on my post. You should totally try Zumba out! You would love it.

  14. Hi! I'm your new follower. I found your blog through What Mama Wants blog.

  15. Oh my word - hey it's Julie from A Year With Mom and Dad (MFC blogger!) - so neat to read this post b/c I am in the SAME place you are - we have decided that after my next cycle we are going to start trying too! It would be cool if we both get prego soon! :) yay!
    But yeah, I am starting to get that twinge of jealousy when I see a prego lady - none of my friends are trying that I know of - most of them have 2 or 3 and are "done" ...
    I am torn with finding out the sex too - we probably will not b/c we had fun not knowing last time. I sort of want 2 boys... but at the same time, I want a boy and a girl... I can't make up my mind and so that is probably why it's good that it is NOT up to me! LOL! :)

    Good luck to you guys!!!


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