We've all had em' right?! Well I think I had the meltdown of all meltdowns last night! And it really didn't have all that much to do with Noah. But omg is was the worst meltdown yet!
It started when I was working on my accounting homework and couldn't figure it out. Brian couldn't figure it out either so I flip and just start completely questioning why I even bother with all this school! My whole schedule has been flipped around. I went from getting up when Noah's up to getting up an hour and a half earlier. I went from seeing Noah all day, every day to seeing him only in the evening for a few hours. I went from having time to keep the house clean and organized and still have time to chill and spend time with the boys. So I just broke down! Crying my eyes out and everything! Brian finally got me calmed down and we went to bed. Well..I couldn't sleep. So I broke down again. I was just so stressed and had so much anxiety built up! So I went downstairs and started working on that stupid accounting problem again! Crazy, I know!
Well of course my sweet hubby got out of bed and came down to help me relax and talk to me. Finally after a nice long talk, I calmed down and was able to go to sleep. I don't really know what happened, other than I just let everything build up and stress me out to the max. I hold on to things, and I'm a perfectionist. So when I can't get everything done and I can't figure out stupid math problems, it gets to me. I guess that's what most people call anxiety and Brian thinks I should at least get checked out for it. But I really don't want to be on another pill. I feel like I'm a freakin pharmacy!
So with that said, I am definately on the lookout for better ways to relieve stress and natural ways to get rid of my anxiety! I need to work better with my time management and just learn to let things go! If you have any tips for me let me know! Once I figure out some good ways to relieve stress I'm going to write a blog post on it! :)
I'm so sorry hon. Hope things get better.
ReplyDeleteI've dealt with an anxiety problem for years with no medication. I had to have a few meltdowns at first to discover triggers, but then I started to learn to cope. It wasn't easy. Running, breathing exercises, and letting the rational voice be louder than the anxiety were what finally did it. Running got me through the panic attacks, breathing exercises got me to relax so I could evaluate. Then I'd ask myself if this was worth endangering my life. Because every time you melt, your system goes crazy and the result is a worthless you, which just feeds the issue. Look it in the eye and tell it you'll get through it!
ReplyDeleteexercise helps, and maybe some time to yourself to clear your head and remember why you are doing what you are doing. keep your chin up!! ;)
ReplyDeleteI've found that being intimate with my husband is a good way to relieve stress for both of us AND reconnect in a physical way which is especially helpful to our relationship since that's one of the first aspects to fall by the wayside when either or both of us is stressed. :-)
ReplyDelete{{{{Hugs}}}} I know how hard it is! I went to college after having my ds (who is 17 now so that tells you how long ago it was!) and it was hard! I was a single mom too. Talk about breakdowns! I got through it by reminding myself that it wouldn't last forever and who cares if the house was messy? Ds wasn't going to remember because he was too young at the time. As long as it's clean and safe, leave the mess!
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. I attend college full times, and am a stay-at-home-bill-paying-dr-appointment-making-eveything-else-doing mommy like oh-so-many others.
ReplyDeleteI cry, oh boy! Do I cry. I bawl- freak-stress-and get to a point I almost hyperventaliate. I am a hig-strung person about so many things. I get in a rut (it's like a water well by now) and just can't get out. That combined with so many other stresses gets to me.
I find that it helps to turn off the t.v. while I study (I can pretty much stand the kids playing, but they get louder than the TV and it gets to me.)
I get so mad, mad, I mean furious mad that I feel like I'm "alone" doing everything- when I know I'm not. B doesn't know how to help me out so he jsut tries to calm me and let them be while I read 100+ pages per chapter and take 1 quiz/exam per chapter and write 10 hours worth of evaluations per course.
I'm horrible at math anyway so that get's worse for me cause I begin stressed and any noise they make agitates me.
I could go on and on- but I just want you to know- You are not alone. My house stays a wreck while I'm taking courses but nothings unsafe so I don't mind. It's spic and span when I'm out of school. I just hate that "rut"/well....
I'm at mommydoes.blogspot.com if you wanna check me out.