Friday, October 22, 2010

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

So I've been going through something pretty challenging lately. I've decided I want to share. Maybe ya'll can give me some encouragement or maybe one of ya'll have been in my shoes before and can help me out.

So here goes...

I have baby fever!!

Like really bad! I've cried and comtemplated, comprimised with my hubby...the works! I've had it for a while now but its recently gotten a lot worse. Almost all of my friends are pregnant, just found out, or are trying to get pregnant. Literally almost every day this week I have found about about someone new being pregnant. So now I have the fever while everyone else has the baby. Its so hard! The last person I found out was pregnant, I burst into tears! LOL. I'm losing it!

The problem is, besides hubby not being ready, truly I am not either. I will be finished with school in June 2011. I have been working on this degree since 2005! (with a few breaks of course). So thats a really big accomplishment I'd like to get out of the way. We have a small car. Like VERY small two door Honda Accord. By the beginning of next year , we are hoping to get a bigger one , but not before then. So that's another reason we need to wait. We could definately not fit two carseats in the car we have now.

Our original plan was I'd go off the birth control when Noah turned 2 in April. It's a good plan, but I feel like I just can't wait that long. Hubby says we can start trying in a month or 2 if I really want to, which I do, but I just don't know if thats truly the right time for us. I mean it would definately work, but are we going to be truly ready? Know what I mean?

Ugh I hate the baby fever!! So many decisions and choices! How did you decide when you were ready for baby #2? Were there any obsticals that needed to be overcome before you started trying? Are you glad you waited until you did or wish you'd have waited longer, or started trying sooner?? Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!!

14 comments:

  1. I wish I could help! I'm actually going through the same thing! I know the timing isn't the best, but I want another baby! I graduate December 2011, but that's only if I don't stop for Summer semester. If I have a baby, I'll have to stop, and who knows for how long. We don't have the car issue, but we definitely have financial concerns with child care if we do add to our family right now.

    For you, on the plus side, you graduate Summer 2011. I mean, you could start trying now and have the baby right after you graduate. I think I'd agree with your husband though, wait a few months so that you're definitely finished with school and have a little bit of time off to get things settled by the time the baby comes. You know? And, as far as the car goes, you said yall were getting a new one at the beginning of the year, well that works out perfectly, because you'll have the car before you have the baby!

    I say go for it! Lol, but maybe that's just my baby fever coming out now!

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  2. I've definitely got a little bit of baby fever right now. We're having to wait as well. Due to financial reasons as well as some health reasons. We are in a very small home right now and my plan was to not have another baby until we could afford to be (and be) in a more comfortable home for a family of 4. I totally understand how you are feeling right now as it took me 4 years to get pregnant and all of my friends had babies by that time. I hope you figure out what will best work for your family and make you happy at the same time.

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  3. I got the crazy baby fever when my daughter was the same age as your son. One try and 9 months later our son was born. They're 23 months apart and I admit it has been tough for me. I honestly wish we would have waited at least 6 more months or so. I do love them both and wouldn't trade them for the world. But since you're asking, I would've waited a bit longer.

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  4. I say get started on the baby making NOW, lol! jk I want a baby, too! I'm no help lol

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  5. I always have baby fever so I can't be much help there.

    Though I'd have to say if you feel like it's not quite the right time, then it's probably not.

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  6. I just had baby #2 in May and I got the fever too. At first my husband was like "Oh he!! no!" because this was his first child and he just didnt know what to expect. Well he knew I was a little sad when asked but I let it go and moved along. You wanna know what he told me 2 weeks ago? At my appt in November when I am being checked to see if my cysts are gone...he wants me to have the IUD taken out! **tmi sorry** I just had that darn thing put in back in June. He said he wants Colin to have a playmate and he was just being selfish before because all he could think about was the newborn stage and no sleep. Now he is begging me to get it started but he knows I am skeptical of his quick mind change. In my opinion....you are never going to be "ready" and anyone who says they are is just kidding themself. Each child is different so you never know what to expect. The car situation...totally feel you there! I had a 2006 Honda Civic Coupe and now I have a 99 Ford Windstar! LOL! What a trade. But my car is paid off & I have room. Hubby has a truck so somebody had to budge. If you are planning on getting a new car in 2011 I say go for it! The degree will still happen. I went to college up until 2 weeks before I had Colin. I have been working on my degree for awhile but I was also a single mom with my daughter.

    Hope this helps somewhat! Feel free to email me if you need to vent! I know it helps me!

    BTW: I tagged you at my blog

    http://diaryofmomma00.blogspot.com/2010/10/tag-youre-it.html

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  7. Since you graduate summer 2011 I would atleast try and wait to start trying at the beginning of the year. You could possibly have a difficult pregnancy which happened in my case and it messed me up with school because I just simply couldn't go. Of course I am not saying you WILL or that I hope you do or anything like that but it's something to think about! My daughter is 16 months old and I have crazy baby fever too but I really think it's just because she is getting in that independent let me do it myself stage and I miss her "needing" mommy 24/7. Wait a few months and see how you feel!

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  8. I feel like I was in the opposite boat as you. I am due any day now with my 2nd and when I found out I was preggo-I was NOT happy. My husband and I want as many children as the Lord will give us, but I too had reason why now wasn't a good time. My daughter had just turned 1, we only have 1 car, I was going to go back to school, finances aren't looking to great, etc. It has really taken me the entire 9 months to realize that this little person trumps all of that nonsense. I have learned that if the Lord is going to bless us with such a wonderful gift, then we have to have the faith to trust he will supply our needs as well. It's such a simple concept-but hard to grasp when things are just not looking the way we would like.
    I don't see anything wrong with you having another baby. I think it's beautiful that you have such a mothering heart. I do think that it needs to be right by you AND your husband. Like he said, wait a month or two. Check your feelings then. If they genuine, your desire of a baby will grow-not decrease. And maybe by then, your husband will be just as excited to start the baby dance as you are! Not sure if this is the advice you were looking for-but again, I am on the other end. I do understand the hangups, but when you are talking about babies-aren't they more worth it? ;)

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  9. That is so great that you are so excited for another! I usually take that to mean you are loving the experience of having a little one! We started trying for our second when our first was 18mos. It took me 9 months to get pregnant and once we had him it didn't take me more than a week to look back and be glad that I didn't get pregnant when we wanted to. It was so hard! I can't imagine if my first had been younger and less independent than he was. That being said there are many smooth mamas out there who have their children close together, and do it so gracefully! I'd say just look at this as a goal to work towards. A new baby would be the greatest graduation present for you!
    I love your blog by the way!
    www.ohsosavvymom.com

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  10. I have baby fever too! But I just had my daughter in April and she JUST turned 6 months old! LOL! If my husband had it his way, we would be preggo already with #2. I think he just wants to have the babies fast and get it done. And the idea of getting preggo right now seems great. I love being a mom and can't wait to have another baby. BUT...its only been 6 months and realistically I am neither mentally or physically ready for another one just yet especially after having a C-Section.

    I told my husband that we can try again for #2 in 6 months when my daughter is a year old and then by the time we have #2 she will be almost 2 years old which seems like good timing.

    I don't know if its going to work out ok but I am hoping having a 2 year old and a newborn will be good. I don't think it will be too challenging but who knows. Some people would rather wait longer between babies, but I think this is right for us.

    I come from a Family of 6 kids and we are all 5 years and more apart from each other. I am the middle child and I am 9 years older than my youngest brother and 6 years apart from the oldest. I always hated the age difference and was never really able to be that close to any of my siblings. My second youngest brother is 5 years apart and we are the closest as far as relationship from any of the other kids. I never want my kids to be that far apart in age because its hard growing up that way. So having kids close in age is important to me, even if it requires a little extra work when they are little.

    The way I see it is...Nobody is Ever quite ready or where they want to be financially or anything else when they are thinking about having a baby. I thought that too when we were thinking about having kids and I will always remember what my Father-in-Law told me. He said "Its about the Love, not the money or things". Meaning, your never gonna be quite ready, but if you have the Love for your babies and a loving home, then your ready.

    I think if you feel ready physically and mentally and feel in your heart that you want a baby, then you should just go for it. Things will work out for you in time. It seems like people try to wait for the right time and that just never seems to come for most people. There will always be a standard to which you feel makes it seem like the right time such as being financially stable or having certain things. Of course having certain things like a car that can fit everyone is vital and important. But if you are already planning on getting it soon, then it won't be an issue.

    And remember...it takes 9 months before the baby will get here, so that will give you some extra time to sort the things out that you need to! :)
    Good Luck!

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  11. I have baby fever too! But I just had my daughter in April and she JUST turned 6 months old! LOL! If my husband had it his way, we would be preggo already with #2. I think he just wants to have the babies fast and get it done. And the idea of getting preggo right now seems great. I love being a mom and can't wait to have another baby. BUT...its only been 6 months and realistically I am neither mentally or physically ready for another one just yet especially after having a C-Section.

    I told my husband that we can try again for #2 in 6 months when my daughter is a year old and then by the time we have #2 she will be almost 2 years old which seems like good timing.

    I don't know if its going to work out ok but I am hoping having a 2 year old and a newborn will be good. I don't think it will be too challenging but who knows. Some people would rather wait longer between babies, but I think this is right for us.

    I come from a Family of 6 kids and we are all 5 years and more apart from each other. I am the middle child and I am 9 years older than my youngest brother and 6 years apart from the oldest. I always hated the age difference and was never really able to be that close to any of my siblings. My second youngest brother is 5 years apart and we are the closest as far as relationship from any of the other kids. I never want my kids to be that far apart in age because its hard growing up that way. So having kids close in age is important to me, even if it requires a little extra work when they are little.

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  12. The way I see it is...Nobody is Ever quite ready or where they want to be financially or anything else when they are thinking about having a baby. I thought that too when we were thinking about having kids and I will always remember what my Father-in-Law told me. He said "Its about the Love, not the money or things". Meaning, your never gonna be quite ready, but if you have the Love for your babies and a loving home, then your ready.

    I think if you feel ready physically and mentally and feel in your heart that you want a baby, then you should just go for it. Things will work out for you in time. It seems like people try to wait for the right time and that just never seems to come for most people. There will always be a standard to which you feel makes it seem like the right time such as being financially stable or having certain things. Of course having certain things like a car that can fit everyone is vital and important. But if you are already planning on getting it soon, then it won't be an issue.

    And remember...it takes 9 months before the baby will get here, so that will give you some extra time to sort the things out that you need to! :)
    Good Luck!

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  13. Girl I have been feeling the same way lately. Well Im not a mommy, but as you know I have been sorta like a second mommy for 2 years to my god-daughter Faith. I have crazy baby fever and have since before Faith was born, which is probably why I got so attached to her. Right before Faith was born I found out it wold be very hard for me to have children, and about two weeks ago I found out that I have something called a uterine septum. In English, it means I have a wall dividing my uterus. I will not be able to carry a baby full term without miscarrying, unless they do surgery. So I too have been kinda emotional lately. Everyone I know is pregnant or finding out they are. We have a few people in common recently. It breaks my heart. Being a teacher and seeing students having babies is another one that just kills me. I have 2 degrees and almost done with my masters, great job and still haven't found my happily ever after. I also have to find the man first too...lol. But it just all seems to be very sensitive with me right now, I guess with the medical issue and all. Anyway, I think you and Brian make such great parents, and Noah is such a sweet little boy. I know you will make great parents to another little one as well. I suggest waiting just a little longer, things are going so great with the new house and you almost getting your degree, don't rush it. I would say wait for the first of the year. It will make things so much easier to be able to plan it out. Im prayin for ya girl!!

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  14. My husband and I are trying for our first right now. Here was our process: It started off with both of us thinking that if we found out we could never have kids that we be fine (we knew that would change someday). Then we to thinking that someday we would want them, but that it would be a LONG time away. Then I started wanting to start trying about 4 months ago and my husband was still hesitant. Then a friend told him that if he would be ready within 9 months then we should start trying now, so we did.
    So that's my advice. If you would be prepared to have another child in 9 months, then go for it! If not, then you know the answer. :)

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