Monday, May 9, 2011

Mommy Woes

Ok so I'm going to be real honest here, and hopefully I won't be judged for it. It's been on my mind pretty much since I found out I was pregnant and bugs me more and more each day.

I think I'm having another boy. For a number of reasons. This pregnancy is pretty similar to my pregnancy with Noah. Morning sickness hasn't been as bad, but I also have Zofran, which I didn't have with Noah. Headaches have kicked in, just like they did with Noah right around this time, although they also aren't as bad as they were with him.

Another reason I think I'm having a boy, is because honestly, I almost feel like I'm not lucky enough to get one of each. I want one of each SO bad that I feel like I just won't get it. I don't know why I feel this way. I just do. Almost everyone I know who's on their second kiddo is having the opposite of what they had first. And every time I hear someone else announce the gender they are having, and its the opposite, my heart sinks a little. I just feel like there's no way that could be me.

I want a little girl so bad that I feel like I will be disappointed when the ultrasound tech tells me its another boy. And that makes me feel like a bad mommy. I already love my baby so much and will no matter what the gender. But I am just wishing so bad for a girl that I feel like I'm just setting myself up for disappointment.

I do realize I could be completely mistaken and I could be having a girl. But I figure tell myself now that its a boy and MAYBE, just maybe I won't be completely bummed if it is. Anyone felt like this before when pregnant with a second or third, etc? How did it work out for ya? Any input is greatly appreciated..but please no judgmental remarks..I'm being judgmental enough on myself.




15 comments:

  1. Oh hun it is perfectly normal to feel that way. I WANTED so badly have a boy with my second and was a little disappointed that they told me I was having a girl. It didn't last very long, and soon I was so excited to have be having another girl. Once she was born I couldn't have cared less about whether she was a boy or girl, I was just so happy to have my baby in my arms!

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  2. well, i only have one and don't plan on having any more anytime soon, but i bet that when you see that precious baby's face, the gender won't matter anymore. of course, it's hard to think like that when you're still pregnant, but think happy [feminine] thoughts and you'll make it! BTW, someone i know was expecting a granddaughter and ended up with a grandson, so even if that ultrasound appears to show some boy parts, it could always be wrong! good luck :)

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  3. hey babe...no worries, I actually cried when I found out Blake was a boy, I desperately wanted a girl..
    But...but...
    my first two are boys, and they're 19 months apart and it's so awesome! Really...I'm not just saying that...watching two brothers play together and how Jack looks up to his big brother is so cool to watch...
    so my 3rd and 4th are girls..and by the time baby #3 came I was so ready for some estrogen...
    who knows what this baby will be...and what the future holds...relax mama...

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  4. As long as I could remember, I wanted to be a mommy. Not just that, I wanted a DAUGHTER.

    When I became pregnant, I was convinced it was going to be a boy. We had a boy name picked out and everything. I was dead certain.

    And then, at the sonogram, they said girl. I was shocked, yet ecstatic....but something felt wrong. Daddy and I finally realized that we missed the little boy we thought we were going to have. It honestly took a little time to get over.
    ~K

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  5. I very much agree with Lindsay. I think you expressed exactly how I felt with my second...except my morning sickness was so much worse with the second that I was convinced I was having a girl. My oldest is a boy and I really was a little disappointed at the ultrasound...and that is perfectly okay. I was so excited about having another boy by the time the next day rolled around. It may take a little while, like K said, but I think as moms we're kind of wired to love whatever we get. ;)....and next time around I really hope I have a girl! LOL

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  6. I'm currently pregnant with my second, and get to schedule my gender ultrasound next week. I want a second girl ridiculously bad. We have a name picked out for a girl already. But my husband says this one is a boy, and the crazy thing about that is that he had the feeling our first was a girl. Also, I desperately wanted a boy first and got a girl, and now I want them all to be girls. In short, I feel the same uncertainty as you do, but most of me knows that once I start really planning for whatever it is, I will no longer care what it is.

    I'll cross my fingers that we both get girls. :)

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  7. In my first pregnancy I wanted a little girl so bad, or so I thought. However, once they told us that we were having a boy- I actually felt relieved. A boy was indeed a gift to me as a first time parent.
    This time around I truly wanted a little girl. But I was convinced that since I wanted it so bad, it would turn out to be another little boy. Whom I'd love just the same but still. It being our last child- I was so nervous to admit that I wanted a little girl. Even after we found out we were indeed having a little girl, even now- I'm convinced that I could just happen to be one of those moms that have a little boy that they thought was going to be a little girl. lol.

    It's funny how our minds work- especially when we're pregnant. But with all this said, I am sending over some personal Baby Girl dust! May we both have little girls, despite our crazy thoughts & feelings. lol

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  8. With your little ones being so close together in age, it would be nice to have them both boys. They can share clothes, share a room (when you have your girl), and they can be buddies. I thought that #2 was going to be another girl....I swore that it was going to be another girl. I was shocked when we saw that it was definitely a boy on the ultrasound....no mistaking it. I was a little disappointed for a day and then I started to get warmed up to the idea. Now, I love having my boy....so different than having a girl. Now I hope that #3 is a boy too... Just remember that it's not in our control and there's nothing we can do about it, so try not to focus on it. Either way, we have beautiful children that make our lives so much more rich and fulfilling. ***hugs***

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  9. I totally felt the same way that you are feeling! With #3 I was so afraid that I would be disappointed if I had another girl, I didn't even find out the sex. When the Dr. and nurses in the delivery room annouced, " It's another girl!!!", this wave of relief washed over me and I was so unbelievably happy to have three girls. I can't imagine what I would have done with a boy...and his "thingy". Sometimes you don't really know what you want until it is lying in your arms.

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  10. I have two boys and they are 13 1/2 months apart. When we went in for the ultrasound at 20 weeks with the second it was my mom who was so very hoping for a girl. I of course wanted a girl but the idea of having another boy had it's financial benefits.

    Having boys has helped me be less controlling, more laid back and a much happier person...but that's me and well I would be lying if I haven't toyed with the idea of having a third to "Shoot" for my girl...but well that's for another day!

    During pregnancy...none of our feelings, emotions or thoughts make sense sometimes but they also don't make us "bad" so don't feel guilty! It will all be ok!

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  11. I have been pregnant 5 times and each time I felt the same! 2 boys and 2 girls living with 1 in Heaven. I didn't find out and was surprised every time the doctor said "It's a ....!)

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  12. We have 2 boys, and I think next time I'm pregnant, I will feel very similar...I want a girl so badly. I look at all the cute dresses in the stores and the hair bows/tights/nail polish and I'm so jealous!

    Boys are fun, but it's normal to feel this way :)

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  13. Perfectly normal feelings! :-)
    This is part of why we prefer to keep the gender a surprise until the day that the baby is born...it's a lot harder to be disappointed about gender when you've got the sweet little munchkin in your arms. ;-)

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  14. Dont be so hard on yourself!!! I thought for sure that my first was a boy! When the doc told me it was a girl, I was sad for a moment but then completely thrilled! Now, I cant imagine my little family any other way!!!

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  15. I knew I was going to like you. Thank you for being so real. I have four boys, so I have definitely felt the feelings you are feelings.

    My best advice is to allow yourself to feel the way you want to feel. If you do have a boy (which will be awesome) go ahead and feel sad about it. Feeling sad about not having a girl doesn't make you love your little boy any less. You are grieving the loss of the dream of a baby girl, not rejecting your son.

    Best wishes to you as a mom of two.

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