Disclaimer: I am not an expert on marriage at all! These are just my own opinions and thoughts that have helped me throughout my marriage after having kids!
After having a baby everything changes! Your life is revolved around the baby's schedule! Feedings, naps, diaper changes, and late nights take over your whole life! It's hard not to put marriage on the back burner sometimes. But it's important to remember to keep that relationship nourished and strong after baby is born and throughout! Here are some tips I've come up with to help keep your marriage strong and happy even after having kids!
1. Make time for each other, always. Even when you are sleep deprived and smell like spit up, commit to making at least a little time for each other every day. When your little one is napping take the time to talk to each other and get a few snuggles in if you can. It really does help just to talk and know that you're both still there for each other!
2. Don't blame each other. Things can get hard sometimes with a new baby in the house. You can't figure out why the baby won't stop crying. You haven't been able to get more than 2 hours of sleep all night. The dishes are piling up and the dog won't stop barking. Try not to blame each other for the feelings of frustration and exhaustion you are feeling. It's ok to express your frustration to your spouse, but don't blame them. This just causes a fight and makes things even worse.
3. Express your appreciation. It always feels good to be told you're doing a great job right? So make sure you are doing the same for your spouse. Tell them often how much you appreciate them and thank them for working hard for your family, whether they stay at home with the kids or go to work to pay the bills. Maybe even take the time to do something special for them to express how thankful you are for them and how much you love and appreciate them.
4. Trust Each Other. This applies to any marriage, but it is so important. Without trust, no marriage can stay strong. It may be hard when you are at home with baby all day and your spouse is out all the time busy with work and other things, or even if it's the other way around. But if you can't trust your spouse then you have no foundation for your marriage and things just won't work out like they should. I know there are certain circumstances where trust is broken, but if your spouse hasn't done any of those things to break your trust, then just trust them. It's that simple.
5. Get a babysitter! If it is at all possible, try to get a babysitter and have a date night at least once a month! If you have family close by or even if you have to hire someone, it's so important to get out and get some time alone without the kids! It rejuvenates you individually and as a couple! It keeps things fun and helps you get out of the daily routine with the little ones! I feel that this is one of the most important things to do in keeping a marriage strong after having kids!
It is so important to keep the love and affection you feel for your spouse strong even after baby is born and your life becomes crazy with feedings, schedules, and sleepless nights! It won't always be easy, but it is very important to make that special person in your life a priority! I hope these tips are helpful to you and encourage you to go show your spouse some love and appreciation today!
I added this to my Married Life board on Pinterest. This is so true. The point about BLAME is right on target. It can be so hard to do that. Thanks for the tips. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is hard to remember to do these things, so it is good to read a list like this.
ReplyDelete#3 is often times hard. We tend to take our significant other for granted most of the time.. You don't tell them you are great or you are doing a good job whenever situation deems it necessary.. And like you said, saying so goes a long way... I like all the tips. The picture is awesome too :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent tips. Pinning this!
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