This title applies in so many aspects of my life right now!
I consider myself a nice person and I try to be helpful and caring towards others, but I am learning that I need to say No sometimes. Mostly for my own happiness and the happiness of my family. I tend to let myself get guilted into things and then stretch myself too thin or regret getting into something that I don't enjoy. This has recently happened to me a few times and I have began to realize that I just can't do it anymore.
Another aspect this applies to is Noah. He's hit the terrible twos and as much as I hate to say or think it, he's just not my sweet little innocent baby anymore. He's learning what his boundaries are and testing those boundaries. He's starting to learn right from wrong. Which means I cannot be sweet, nice mommy all the time anymore. Yesterday he did something that really shook me to the core. He ran out into the middle of the road!! With a car coming!! Thank God the car saw him and was able to stop without even going near him. This was really a wake up call for me! After crying for about an hour and analyzing how I "punished" him and seeing his reaction to my punishment, I have realized that I am going to have to be that mean mommy sometimes....especially when it comes to Noah learning to listen and obey me ...even more especially when it comes to his own safety.
Now I don't want to be flamed for how I do things or how I parent. That's not why I wrote this post. It is basically me coming to the realization that life is full of priorities and my priorities are my son and my husband. They are most important to me aside from my relationship from God, and they will always come before any other human being out there. I am Noah's mommy and it is my responsibility to raise him correctly and to teach him right from wrong and what's safe and not safe...even if that means I have to be the "mean" mommy sometimes. I can't always be nice....even if I want to be....not always to other mothers...not always to other family members...not always to Noah. I'm not sure if this even makes any sense but I hope you get my jist.
Bless your heart! One of the best books I've ever read was "Premeditated Parenting"--I read it while I was pregnant, again when my first daughter was around 18 months and getting into her terrible twos and I am about to read it again!
ReplyDeleteThe advice I found in that book was incredible, and biblically based. It takes a lot to come to the realization that discipline is necessary. I'll be praying for you!
It's not fun, sadly, but I'm in the Mean Mom club too! It's a learning experience to figure out what works for your kiddo and your family. You'll do great, try not to feel guilty!
ReplyDeleteThey say (Don't know who they is) but to come up with a alternative word other than "stop" to let the child know that it is more serious then stop. Like Freeze/Halt whatever. I used this with Dillon and it helped (i.e. Stove tops etc).
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to experience this. That is very scary!!
Oh, don't feel guilty, sometimes you have to be "mean". My daughter has told me she doesn't like me anymore, in front of a "nice" mom, who was floored as I responded "You don't have to like me you just need to listen to what I say." She had to sit in time out while her friends played because she was running in a small space when I told her not to, and she ended up almost running over a small baby (I grabbed her before she could) What she was doing wasn't safe. (She's also 5, my 18 month old son just thinks it's hilarious when he gets in trouble, not sure how I'm going to handle that as he gets bigger)
ReplyDeleteI just want to say kudos for putting on the mean mommmy hat, many moms are too afraid to. Then they can't figure out why their children are monsters. Our job as parents is to teach them to become adults, and as parents we know what's best.
My daughter is now 18months and is doing the same thing. I hate being so mean. I hate that she's not my little wide eyed love bunch anymore. Hang in there and stay strong!
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