Today's challenge is to talk about the biggest challenge we've been faced with. I've been blessed. I haven't had a difficult life. I haven't lost anyone that I was extremely close to. And I have two healthy boys with no health issues thus far. So I would have to say my biggest challenge that I have faced has been my parents divorce.
It started about seven years ago. I was 18 and fresh out of high school when they started having problems. Without going into too much detail, my dad was having some issues. I predict some mental issues but he hasn't been officially diagnosed. I was pretty much stuck in the middle of it all. I put myself in the middle of it. I would get so upset with my dad for hurting my mom or doing something that I'd scream at him and we'd fight back and forth almost daily. I hated my dad for so long. My mom, my sisters and I finally left and moved into another house. A few months went by and then my mom and dad started talking again and I don't know exactly what happened but she ended up letting him move back in.
They seemed to be working things out and things went back to normal for quite some time. I moved out and started my own life. I got married and had Noah. Things seemed to be fine. My relationship with my dad was never the same again but it wasn't horrible.
Then last year my dad, mom, and sisters came to my house one day and my dad told me he was divorcing my mom. He made it out like it was all her fault and went into one of his spills like he used to. I was hurt and upset, mostly for my mom. In the weeks following he moved out and did some terrible things to my mom and sisters. He basically left them with nothing. I was very angry with him for a very long time. I considered cutting him off completely from my life, but it is so hard when you have a little one that loves his "Papa" and asks about him.
It's been over a year now and my parents are officially divorced. Things are better. They can speak peacefully now and I can manage to be around my dad. There are so many details that I have left out so I know it doesn't seem like it, but this whole ordeal was very hurtful to all of us. To this day I still have a hard time dealing with what my dad did to hurt my mom, my sisters, and I. He still visits and we get along fairly well, but it's not the same. It will never be the same. It's hard to not have my daddy anymore.
That sounds like something incredibly challenging that still is with you today.
ReplyDeleteIt's been interesting reading the effect that divorce has on the children...often you just hear about the adults and how it affects them.
To hear the effect from child (who is now an adult), gives a very different perspective. Thank you for sharing what happened and it still impacts you today.
Thank you for sharing what is still a difficult challenge for you. I hope time has a healing influence.
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